Out of 100

70% of Americans don’t know that Plastic is made from Oil. Stupid hippies; No Wars, No Oil.

76% of American adults believe that Jesus rose from the dead. And then disappeared for 2,000 years? What’s the point of rising from the dead if you just ascend to Heaven anyway? Isn’t that kind of like, well, being dead?

8% of Americans think Elvis is still alive and 11% are not sure. Why does it matter if he’s not making music or terrible movies?

11% of Women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime IF THEY LIVE TO 85! This is only if you live past the life expectancy of 79 and your breasts have lost much of their appeal. Look, you don’t even pass a 1% risk until your mid 40s:

Breast Cancer Risk in women by Age
By age 30: 1 in 2,525
By age 35: 1 in 622
By age 40: 1 in 217
By age 50: 1 in 50
By age 60: 1 in 24
By age 70: 1 in 14
By age 85: 1 in 9

So stop bitching you noisy feminists, there’s no epidemic and your diseases aren’t under funded, they are comparatively over-funded. Be grateful.

49% of people are more stupid than the average person, and 49% are smarter.

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About Christopher

Christopher Landauer is a fifth generation Colorado native and second generation Border Collie enthusiast. Border Collies have been the Landauer family dogs since the 1960s and Christopher got his first one as a toddler. He began his own modest breeding program with the purchase of Dublin and Celeste in 2006 and currently shares his home with their children Mercury and Gemma as well. His interest in genetics began in AP Chemistry and AP Biology and was honed at Stanford University.