It’s Hard To Be Humble

I just ran across this hilarious take on an unnamed Canadian sheeple (or would the singular be sheeperson?) and their bumper stickers. The full post is here. R-rated excerpt below.

I’m in my car, sitting in traffic, and I notice the rig in front of me was covered in bumper stickers. Strange, strange bumper stickers.

The final one was my favorite. It’s off the crazy scale. It reads as such:

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What? Border collies? You fucking idiot. It doesn’t even make sense. Any fucking shmuck on Earf can buy a fucking border collie. You might as well make the bumper sticker say, “It’s hard to be humble when you own toothpaste.” Makes as much sense. Now if it said, “It’s hard to be humble when you own the greatest tits on the planet,” well, yeah, I would imagine it would be hard to be humble in that spot. Otherwise it’s weird.

“Hey, I saw you talking to that girl with the great tits. How did it go?”

“Awesome! She blew me in the bathroom. It was like she had no self-worth at all!”

“Hey, I saw you talking to that girl with the border collie. How did it go?”

“Totally blew me off. Gave me this big speech about how she was better than me.”

If irreverence towards sheeple, crass sexual humor, and a potty mouth weren’t enough reasons to read Lozo, he also hates cats and poor grammar. A trifecta in my book.

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About Christopher

Christopher Landauer is a fifth generation Colorado native and second generation Border Collie enthusiast. Border Collies have been the Landauer family dogs since the 1960s and Christopher got his first one as a toddler. He began his own modest breeding program with the purchase of Dublin and Celeste in 2006 and currently shares his home with their children Mercury and Gemma as well. His interest in genetics began in AP Chemistry and AP Biology and was honed at Stanford University.